I knew right when she was here. I couldn’t wait to take a test, even though I didn’t really need to because I just KNEW. My gut is never wrong, and it knew, and my heart knew and my body knew.

No signs, my body just knew.

It was still too early to test so I thought, but I had waited as long as I could, so I went to CVS while your Dad was at work and I was so excited because I found a test that said it could tell you if you were pregnant as early as a week before a missed period.

I was so excited to get home and take it, I took it and immediately saw the lines. I think I waited to take the second one because I wanted to show your Dad the actual test and he wasn’t due home for another 2 hours. That was the hardest part… waiting to tell him, but I wanted it to be so special and to see him in person to tell him.

He came home and I was beaming and I showed him the test and he was smiling and shocked (we planned you, but it is still a shock in that moment for both of us because now it’s REAL!)

I sat the next day at the kitchen table so excited and called my doctor and she said I had to wait a couple weeks before I came in to confirm it with them.

I didn’t need the confirmation, you were already here, I knew. I also knew you were a girl. Even I didn’t know how, I was excited for a baby, didn’t matter what you were, but I just knew you were a girl.

Daddy’s request early on was that we wait to find out what you were until the day you were born, for the element of surprise, but I knew all along, and I was not surprised. Just elated to meet you.

While you were in my belly once I got passed that 3 months of sickness (and it was badddddddd sickness) I felt amazing the rest of the pregnancy.

The night before you were born (I didn’t know you were on your way) I figured I better get out the Halloween decorations because you would be here soon and I wouldn’t have the chance later. Plus I had this energy like no other.

That morning at around 4 am I woke up with contractions. They were about 10 minutes apart. I calmly hopped in the shower, I knew I had some time, and I also was waiting as long as I could because Daddy was at work and I didn’t want to call him if it was a false alarm but I needed to let him know in enough time to come get us ๐Ÿ˜‰

Shortly after the shower, the contractions started coming on fast and strong. I called my Doctor and she said it sounded like it was time. I called Daddy and I got what I needed, and was heading downstairs with my luggage and he was in the driveway shortly after.

We got there, I got my epidural and we called the whole family, and waited, and waited, and waited. I started to have hip pain, and they realize my body had already metabolized it and it was starting to wear off. They had given me pitocin because I was just stuck at 7 and nothing was changing. I had enough time they figured to give me another epidural. The doctor said it would probably be another hour, walked out, and within 20 minutes they were running to get her.

Here you came, beating the kick in of the second epidural. So I felt it all.

And you were worth every bit of it.

At 7:38 that night… YOU entered the world Alivia Lynn. Named after your Grandma, and a name I thought was the most beautiful name my whole life. Being in ballet for years, this beautiful girl in class who seemed perfect to me in every way, was named Olivia, which I just thought was perfect too. So we picked an A to start your name in honor of Daddy, so you’re named after him too.

I wanted to name you Frank, but everyone said no. Mom joke there lol

You had a full head of hair, and you were beautiful. You looked so much like Daddy it almost seemed like one could question if you had actually just come from me. ๐Ÿ™‚ Which is funny because now you look exactly like me.

I couldn’t have asked for a better first baby. From the moment you were born, you were calm, loving, easy, a thinker, a learner, so smart, so sweet.

I am still eternally grateful for the fact that you still are all of those things.

We have loved you since before we even met you. And we will love you for eternity.

You are a young woman now, and we couldn’t be prouder of who you are, what you are, everything you are.

I’ve told you all of this, but now it’s in writing for you forever.

You know I didn’t think much about having children, I was set out for a career since I was 6 lol. I didn’t dream about my wedding day or any of it. I dreamt about what I was going to do with my life. And the dreams showed me my life.

True to life… mine lead me right to you. And it has been the greatest thing I’ve ever done. God had something greater in store for my life, and it was you. You set me on a path that would forever be yours. You have my heart and soul, forever.

I love you Aya. You’re the world’s greatest gift, you’re our greatest gift. And as you move through this life, I hope you LOVE it! I hope you stay free! I hope you always know your worth. I hope you always know how extraordinary you are. I hope you always know how very loved you are.

Watching you grow has been more amazing than anything else I would’ve done, and more rewarding than anything else I could’ve done.

You’re amazing. To put it lightly ๐Ÿ™‚

I love to watch you soar, and to get excited with you about wherever you will go and every step along the way.

You have become my comfort, teacher, and best friend in all the right ways. The ways that make every bit of motherhood worth so much.

I knew you were here before we had you, just like I know there are amazing things in store for you. Just like I know you’re a part of this world that makes a difference just by being you.

I love you.

Here are the lyrics of a song I loved that keep going through my head this week, I think you’ll love it too:“100 Years”

I’m 15 for a moment
Caught in between 10 and 20
And I’m just dreaming
Counting the ways to where you are
I’m 22 for a moment
And she feels better than ever
And we’re on fire
Making our way back from Mars
15 there’s still time for you
Time to buy and time to lose
15 there’s never a wish better than this
When you only got a hundred years to live
I’m 33 for a moment
I’m still the man, but you see I’m a “they”
A kid on the way, babe
A family on my mind
I’m 45 for a momentThe sea is high
And I’m heading into a crisis
Chasing the years of my life15 there’s still time for you
Time to buy and time to lose yourself
Within a morning star

15 I’m all right with you
15 there’s never a wish better than this
When you only got a hundred years to live

Half time goes by
Suddenly youโ€™re wise
Another blink of an eye
67 is gone
The sun is getting high
We’re moving on

I’m 99 for a moment
And dying for just another moment
And I’m just dreaming
Counting the ways to where you are

15 there’s still time for you
22 I feel her too
33 youโ€™re on your way
Every day’s a new day

15 there’s still time for you
Time to buy and time to choose
Hey 15 there’s never a wish better than this
When you only got a hundred years to live

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALIVIA! You perfect thing you!